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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Homesick

The closer we get to the end of the school year the more I miss home. All I want to do is be home again with my family and friends and it seems like it will never get here. The other night after talking to some of my family I lost it and cried for an hour. Poor Allen didn't know what to do with me. I know we were here for a reason and we were meant to be here, and I'm not sure if we've fulfilled that purpose or not completely but there is nothing I want more than to get back home. I know in a couple weeks or so of being home I'll start missing the people here and wishing we were back, but home is where we belong. This is the first semester we haven't been able to go home and I didn't think it would affect me like it has. I normally don't get homesick and I am fine, but holy cow. Another thing I have been really struggling with has been keeping my thoughts positive. It's making me crazy because I've been working so hard on having a good attitude. I've never had a huge problem with being negative until the last couple weeks and it feels like its an actual struggle not to let stupid things bother me. I'll be honest I felt a ton better after reading my brother in law's sisters blog, she just moved to Kansas a few months ago and guess what she blogged a couple days ago..... "One thing I've noticed here in our new land is my battle between negative and positive thoughts. It is ongoing, and it affects every day. Hoping to come off victor!" Not that I'm glad she's having the same problem, I just know what a cheerful person she is and knowing that someone like that can struggle with it too makes me feel more normal. To top things off the last week I've been having dreams about family and friends from home almost every night. And then I wake up still in Oklahoma. There are 45 days until graduation. I can make it 45 days.

Just to clarify, I am glad we moved out here. Allen and I both felt like this is where we needed to be and things worked out perfectly to get us here so I don't regret leaving home. It has strengthened our relationship and helped build a foundation for our marriage and I'm grateful for that. We have made some amazing friends and been blessed beyond what we deserve. As an example, the other day we were going over some of our finances. I have been working for the school part time but besides what Allen wins at rodeos that's the only job either of us have. On a good week, I'll get somewhere between 15 and 20 hours in for minimum wage which amounts to just under $1000 since December. Allen has won around $3000 so far this year, but when we were going over our finances somehow we have had about double that since the beginning of the year. That is amazing. I'm not sharing this because I want to brag or show off, it's really personal information that I normally would keep to myself, but I just know we are being taken care of by our Heavenly Father. I don't know how to describe the love I feel from my Heavenly Father. I don't deserve it but He blesses us more than I could ever imagine, and it's sad to think that most of the time we don't even notice or pay attention to the things He does for us. One of the biggest blessings right now is comfort. When I am homesick or feeling alone I always have His comfort. He makes me strong.

This seems like a very drama filled post, so to end on a positive note:
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
Abraham Lincoln

"Enjoy every single moment. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the inspiring, the not-so-glamerous moments and THANK GOD THROUGH IT ALL!"

I never realized how beautiful Utah was until I left.






Love these girls, I never knew I would grow up living with some of my best friends!





Love Oklahoma sunsets, it will definitely be something I will miss!!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

SPRING BREAK

For our last spring break of our college careers, we decided that instead of going home we would take the week off and spend it in the sunshine on the beach down in Corpus Christi. The week definitely had it's ups and downs, but it was so nice to forget all our worries and just spend time together. One of my favorite parts was the dolphins. They were everywhere. There was one morning we just sat on the middle of a dock clear out in the bay and watched a dolphin play and swim. Dolphins are such happy little animals! The first two days we were in Corpus there was plenty of sunshine and it was so much fun playing in the water and spending all day on the beach. After that the weather didn't want to cooperate with us and the wind made it almost to miserable to want to be out and about. So instead, we went to the aquarium. It's amazing to me how many different creatures there are and how unique they can all be. From sharks to starfish and seahorses and everything in between, we are so blessed to live in such a beautiful world. With all the bad going on and the stuff on the news about what is wrong with everything it was nice to have some time to just see the beauty that is still here. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with what might happen and all the scary possibilities of the future that I forget to just enjoy the present. I wish I was one of those people that can just live carefree with no worry about tomorrow but it's something I really struggle with. I get so caught up in the what if's that sometimes the right now seems to slip away. Last week somehow helped me realize that. No matter what happens, no matter how hard life gets or what it might throw my way, I can still be happy now. I can live a beautiful life and make it through anything as long as I worry about what's important and not what might be, because what might be and what are can be very different. If I'm not happy with how things are, I'm the one that can change it, and a positive attitude makes a world of difference. Now after my positive attitude spill I have to vent for a minute. Kind of seems like I already defeated my purpose being all happy and all, but sometimes you just need to get things off your chest. And this situation is one that really bothers me. One hard part about our trip was one of the boys that we traveled with. For his sake, we'll call him Bob. He is one of those people that are very full of themselves and always letting people know that they are better then them. He is on the rodeo team here and almost everyone on the team refuses to travel with him any more because of it. Sometimes I honestly feel bad for him because he says he has confidence issues and is only trying to impress people or make people like him, but after twenty years of that not working maybe you should try to just be yourself. So... Allen won't tell him he won't travel with him. He's too good of a person to just leave him out to dry even though he knows he will have to put up with him and it won't be the most pleasant experience. Kind of like a self fulfilled prophecy, it was a rough week with him. Right now he is winning the saddle bronc title for the region, but Allen and and few other guys are right on his tail. From first place to fifth place is within about thirty points of each other so the competition is very intense. Well, Bob always is saying stuff to Allen to put him down about his riding and telling him how he is going to kick his butt (to use nicer terms then he does) and how he will beat him everywhere they go. It doesn't bother Allen near as much as it bothers me or else he just doesn't show it, but it gets to me. It's hard to be nice to someone who treats Allen like that, especially when Allen is one of the only people in this town that is nice to him. So anyways, the first two rodeos we went to at the beginning of the week, Allen was 80 points and 77 points and beat Bob both times. After that all we heard was 'wait till the next rodeo, I have a better horse, I'm riding better, your not going to get lucky again, bla bla bla.' It is not a good thing to want your husbands traveling partners to fall off when they ride, but that's what I was hoping for. I wanted him to lose. I know it makes me a bad person and all, but lets get real, you can't treat people like dirt and expect them to like you. Another thing that bothered me was that the whole week Bob was telling Allen and Josh (the other kid that went with us and his girlfriend Lexie) how no rodeo cowboy should travel with their wives or girlfriends because it was too expensive and not worth it to take them with. For one thing, he went with just me and Allen last week and was saying how much he wished his girlfriend would come more because she doesn't like to go, and after the rodeo he went to a strip club with a bunch of other guys. Not ok. So apparently he only wants a girlfriend around when the world champions aren't around to take him to the club. And another thing. If Allen didn't take me with him I would have seen him exactly one and a half days in the last eighteen days. For us it is absolutely worth the extra money to be able to spend time together. Ok moving on. Allen made the short round back to Austin and at that point Bob was staying with one of his friends in Texas because he didn't want to go to Corpus with us, thank goodness. Well, Bob's friend also made it to the short round so he could have rode the three hours with him, but instead, he really used his head and drove his own car so that Josh and Lexie would ride back from Austin with him to the next rodeo. Let's be smart here. We are already traveling thousands of miles in a week with two vehicles because we can't all fit in one, and instead of using your brain like a normal person to save gas, you decide to drive alone so you can have Josh and Lexie spend more time with you. He was terrified of being alone. Honestly I've never seen anyone but a little girl be that afraid when he didn't know where Josh and Lexie were. Well, Allen rode amazing in Austin. He was 85 points and took second in the round. I am so proud of that man. He has only been riding for four years and to have come as far as he has is just crazy. He has so much talent. That of course made Bob even more determined to beat him the next day, which is good, competition makes you try harder. Unfortunately you have a dancing partner and you can't pick it. Allen's horse the next day was awful and he was only 63 points. Bob was going crazy because he beat Allen and he was so awesome and talked about it all day and night how he did so great. Josh wasn't as lucky. He got bucked off and was having a hard time feeling good about the ride and on the way out to make it worse, Bob was over standing with Toas Muncy (two time world champion saddle bronc rider) and a bunch of other guys who have all been to the NFR. Well, Josh was carrying his saddle to the car and one of his ladigos was dragging. Bob yelled at him across the parking lot "Hey dumb ass! You're dragging your ladigo!" It made Josh feel like crap. Bob's only purpose was to make himself look good in front of all those guys and he was willing to put his friend down in order to do it. That is wrong. You don't do that to your friends. All week we were all supposed to keep track of all of our receipts for gas and hotels and when we got home we were going to see how much everyone owed. Well, even though we all told Bob a few times during the week, he didn't keep his receipts. He did write amounts in his phone, unfortunately the numbers didn't make any sense. He bought a hotel one of the nights and after he paid for it he said it was $65 for the night, well it changed to $71 later that week and when we were figuring expenses it was $68. It's only a few dollars, but if he is adding a few dollars to everything that adds up pretty quick with a few expensive weekends. His smaller car also somehow used $100 more then our car did, and our car went a lot more miles down to Corpus. When it only takes $25 to fill it with gas, that's an unexplained four extra tanks of gas. Josh and Lexie rode with Bob most of the time and almost every time we stopped for gas it was them filling it up, and they had receipts. I feel bad that we even are questioning what he says, but honestly if something is that fishy it's probably not nothing. I just hate that he thinks he can get away with it and thinks he will still have friends after doing that to people. Rodeo isn't just a hobby for Allen at this point, it's a career choice and a business. And you don't do business with people that screw you. I just want to be around when karma bites Bob in the butt because someday it will happen. We're not the only ones who have a problem with him either, last summer he told us that his traveling partners would sometimes "forget" that he went with them to a rodeo and would leave him there, other times they would "forget" to enter him in the rodeos with them so he couldn't go with them. That is pretty low. And I don't doubt for a minute that he didn't deserve it. Which is sad really, I mean, you travel together to help each other out. You can't blame people for not wanting to go with you if these are the kinds of things that happen all the time. I just hope he gets a clue one of these days. Moving on. I'm over it I just needed to get it out and now I'm done. Back to the positive stuff. One of the days in Corpus we got a boat ride over to a vacant island to check it out. It was neat! We found a ton of sand dollars and seashells all over the place. There was also turtles swimming up by the shore and tons of dolphins, it was such a crazy thing to see so many even though there was people and boats all over. On our way out of Austin we stopped to grab a bite to eat and as we were leaving Lexie noticed a girl not much younger than me sitting in the corner of the place with a cardboard sign saying she needed help. I didn't think much of it because there were homeless people every where in Austin and I've always just thought people like that kind of take advantage of the kindness of others and if they really wanted out of their situation they would find a way, and it was probably their fault they were there anyway because of bad choices. Lexie is different. She wanted to help every one we say and felt so bad for them and just kept saying how she wished she could help them. Lexie was determined that we were going to help this girl even if it was something small. We had some left over snacks and a couple bottles of water that we took over to the girl, and I'm glad we did. She was so grateful and started crying and said God bless. It really took me back that she was so appreciative. It was a good reminder for me that it is not our place to judge and we don't know the battles that people are facing. Lexie had said that God would want us to help that girl and that if we believed in Him we would show it in our actions not just our words. I am extremely blessed to have a friend with such a pure heart. We were also able to talk a little about our beliefs. I love being able to talk about that because I feel like so many people have this stereotype about "Mormons". To let them see that we believe in Jesus Christ, that we believe in the Bible and have so many common beliefs and that it's not the crazy religion people make it sound like. It was really neat talking to them about religion, at one point they were telling us about the different churches they had visited and how at some there was just an empty feeling and others there was a feeling that God was definitely there. I was thinking, if you would only come visit my church! The feeling there is like no other!! I hope someday they will come with us. Overall it was a great week!! The bad times were bad but the good times were great. We are some of the most blessed people alive. We are young and don't have much, but we still find a way to do all the things we could ever want to. Allen is able to rodeo and chase his dreams without having anything hold him back, and I get to go with! We have some of the most amazing friends anyone could ask for, families that support and love us no matter what, and a loving God who blesses us more than we could ever deserve. And on top of it all, I get to spend eternity with Allen. I find myself complaining a lot, and this week I am making it a point from here on out to change that. I will have challenges, bad days, and who knows what else, but I have so much more to be happy about then to complain about, its just easier to complain but not anymore. Wish me luck, because it's not going to be an easy change. I hope some of you will choose to do the same. By being happy ourselves we can make the world a happier place, one smile at a time!!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Another Day Another Rodeo

I feel like I always write the same thing.... Another rodeo, Allen got a crappy horse with no reride option... Driving to another rodeo to try his luck again. Hopefully next time I blog the story will at least end with a win. He did end up alright at the last rodeo, but he did get ripped off on his first ride. He was 64 points and the horse pretty much just walked in a circle. Luckily he made it back to the short round and was 78 but even then the people who beat him shouldn't have. Sometimes its hard not to get sick of the system when you know they play favorites. Someday it will pay off I guess. Right now we're driving to Austin, TX for another shot. We are traveling with a kid that is VERY hard to travel with. I have to keep a positive attitude and not let him get to me but man... Some people. We will get back Wednesday morning in time to go to school, do laundry, and pack up again. Next week will be gone for ten days, and this same kid is going with so it could be interesting. But a week on the beach is a week on the beach, how bad can it be! First we have to survive this trip, I'm gonna need some prayers coming this way so I don't strangle this guy.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Rodeo Life

Rodeo season is getting back into swing and keeping us really busy lately. We come home one weekend just to pack back up a few days later and take off again. It's a crazy life but it's a lot of fun. The last couple weekends were college rodeos. On our way to Manhattan, KS there was supposed to be a huge snow storm that ended up closing highways, schools, and businesses all over the place. It was a pretty good storm with around a foot of snow, but it was so weird that so many places were closed down because of a snow storm. The rodeo ended up pretty good, Allen tied for 4th and 5th place which keeps him in the runnings for the region championship. This last weekend we went to Garden City, KS. Allen ended up in 6th place this weekend which was pretty disappointing. He went into the short round sitting tied for 4th and 5th again, but in the short round he drew a horse that didn't buck very good at and he got a reride. He shouldn't have taken it!! On his first horse he was 68 points which isn't great, but his second horse was even worse! He ended up being stuck with 64 points and they didn't have any other horses available for rerides so he was stuck with it. It was pretty discouraging but I'm positive he can make up the lost points in the upcoming rodeos. The way the college rodeo works is that they are competing to go to the College National Finals Rodeo in June. There are twelve regions throughout the United States and each region sends the top three competitors in each event to the finals. The top two teams also get to pick 6 boys and 4 girls to go to the finals and compete. Right now Allen is sitting in third place so if he stays there he will make it to the CNFR, but that's not quite good enough. His goals for this year are to win the region title, the national title, and the rookie of the year title and I know he is capable of doing just that. The rookie of the year is for the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association. Before the cowboys and cowgirls can buy their membership card to be part of the pro's, they have to buy a permit, which would be like a drivers license learning permit to prove that they can earn money at the professional level. Once they've won enough money on their permit to buy their card, their first year on their card is their rookie year and they keep track of how much money is won during the year. The rookie with the most money won wins the title. He's got some big dreams and more talent in his little finger then a lot of people have in their whole body, including me. We've got a busy schedule coming up including Fort Scott KS, Austin TX, Mercedes TX, Goliad TX, Beaumont TX, and Nacogdoches TX just in the next few weeks. During spring break we are making the run to Texas and during the week when we have a break we will be spending our days on the beach! I can not wait!! I'm so glad Allen wants me to travel with him and be there to support him. There are a lot of guys who rodeo who don't hardly see their wives and families from the start of spring/summer until August or September. I wouldn't be able to do that. It will be interesting to see how everything unfolds during the next few years and where the rodeo trail takes us. Enough about rodeo... I've been trying this thing on Pinterest with my hair.. It's kind of scary. Instead of using shampoo and conditioner to clean your hair I've been using a mixture of water, baking soda, and vinegar. I've been doing it for a week now with mixed results. At first it was working great! It's supposed to be really healthy for your hair because instead of shampoo stripping all the good nutrients your scalp produces along with all the dirt and nasties it's supposed to just clean it. The purpose of conditioner is to replenish those good nutrients that the shampoo just took out. The vinegar is to help strengthen and protect your hair and that sort of thing. Well, when I first made the mixture I added way to much baking soda so after a few days it started feeling waxy instead of clean like it felt at first. I remixed it when I noticed it and read about what I was doing wrong to see if I could fix it. It is starting to get better, and it said that the first little while when you started using it your scalp has to adjust to the new treatment so I'm just hoping that phase gets over soon and I start seeing some big improvements in my hair. If not this is just a really weird gross time period of not washing my hair....

Monday, February 18, 2013

He's Back!!

After the longest week ever, Allen made it home last night! It's so good to have him home and have things getting back to normal. His trip was somewhat successful in a way... He had two really good rides in Jackson, MS and San Angelo, TX (scored 77 and 78) they aren't high enough to win any money from them but he said they were just the confidence boosters he needed after not riding as good as he has been for a while. In Tuscon, AZ he didn't have as good of luck. He was only 57 championship points and didn't get a reride option. Kind of a bummer that he didn't win anything all week but it was good he feels better about his riding. He hurt his foot in TX and the whole thing is like one big bruise, it looks pretty nasty but being a big macho man he doesn't think it's bad enough to get it looked at. Sometimes that kid makes me crazy :) anyway after my last post I realized I forgot to the last surprise Allen left for me on Valentines Day (cuz I know you are all dying to know) I came home to find these lovely cupcakes at my house. That boy is pretty neat.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

My Man Al

I'm a few days late but I just wanted to write a little bit about my Valentine's Day. Like I said before, Allen was gone so it was a lot different than the last few years. We did get to celebrate together though, on Saturday night, he took me out to dinner and on Monday we exchanged gifts. Let me just tell you, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Allen isn't really the hopeless romantic type I thought I would end up marrying, but my goodness is he cute! I came home from work on Monday to find roses on the table. The water bottle cracks me up. It just screams 'Allen' to me and I just love it! He doesn't like buying flowers because he doesn't see the point when they just die, so when he does it really means a lot, even if they are in a homemade water bottle vase :) Later that night, he gave me the rest of my present. He absolutely spoiled me! One thing he never gets wrong is jewelry!! He always says he just picks the biggest most sparkly one there is, so apparently he knows me well but he always gets something gorgeous! Last but not least the card. He usually doesn't get a card with anything but this year he did, and oh my goodness! I'm keeping this thing forever!! This has got to be the most tender thing in the world!! Look at those little hearts he drew!! It seriously melts my heart. It was only a few lines but it made my week. It's been really hard having him gone, and even though I'm blessed with a great friend that's been there all week for me, it's still hard not having him here. I was showering yesterday morning and was thinking of all the little things he does that make me laugh every day and how much I miss it. One of them being his naked dance, this sounds a little weird but trust me if you ever saw it, it would be the absolute funniest thing you ever watched in your life! (Maybe I just think so cuz I'm his wife) But before he gets in the shower almost every day he takes off his clothes and runs around the house dancing and it almost kills me (he might kill me if he knew I was telling you all this!) I'm so blessed to have him forever. He is my best friend and my biggest strength. I don't know what I would do without this kid :) I'm so glad he will be home in the next few days because I don't know how much longer I can make it here without him. I'm so grateful I married such a talented man with high goals and that he lets me be apart of them. He is the best!! :)

Monday, February 11, 2013

What a Week

It's been one of those weeks where life seems to throw everything it has at me just to see if I can make it through it. When I finally think I can pick myself up and keep going past one thing, it seems like life just laughs and throws something bigger and tougher on top of it. There's a quote I found on Pinterest that was much needed:
On another note, last Friday I took the GRE to try to get into grad school next fall. It was so extremely hard. I just hope and pray that I passed because that is one test I never want to take again in my life. I know I was just complaining about how life is kicking my butt, but overall it's kind of scary how good things have gone. You always hear about how life never goes as planned, and lately I just keep thinking that it's going too well. If that makes any sense.... I just keep thinking that it can't keep going just like we want it because sooner or later it's gonna decide that it needs to throw a few more kinks in the plan. I hope I didn't just jinx myself! Friday was also two years from when Allen proposed to me. It's crazy how fast time goes, it seems like not that long ago we just started dating. When he asked me, he went up the mountain and found the tree we carved our names into on our first date. Someday I'm planning on going and cutting it down and doing something cool and crafty to save it.
Allen is leaving tonight for a week to go to a few rodeos. He's going to Mississippi, Texas, and Arizona. It'll be the longest we've been apart since we got married. I don't know if I'll be able to make it that long... CHEESY! But really. That's too long.